Reflecting on where I was only two years ago, I understand that true transformation doesn't necessarily require the passage of time or a complete overhaul of one's circumstances. It hinges on one crucial factor: readiness. This readiness could signify a readiness for a fresh start or reaching a breaking point where continuing on the current path is no longer an option.
Every transformation journey shares a common goal, yet the routes taken are always unique. However, within this journey, certain essential elements remain constant. This is why each pillar contributes to the process of transformation, forming the foundation and playing a crucial role in it. That is why, at The Light Ranch, we understand the importance of consistently strengthening this foundation to achieve genuine healing from trauma.
Transformation is not something that can be achieved quickly. It requires a continuous effort to foster personal growth and development. You must desire change as deeply as you need air to breathe. This, in my opinion, is the key distinction I observe among individuals. While I am far from being perfect, I consider myself a girl who has been saved by grace. I often ponder what drives people to reach a point of no return. It is a sense of hopelessness. In my own experience, I have felt this, but certain events reignited hope within me, prompting me to break free from what was causing me harm and realize that I do not want to continue living in that manner.
During that period of change, I came to the realization that I couldn't handle it on my own. It became clear that I needed to seek assistance as my current approach was ineffective. The impact of PTSD had become overwhelming, as I detailed in my previous post. Thus, the process of transformation began with the search for a suitable therapist. It is important to note that not every therapist is a good fit for everyone. If you don't feel comfortable or see real benefits, don't hesitate to continue your search. Fortunately, I was able to find a therapist who helped me comprehend my experiences without belittling my emotions, but rather validating them. Validation, in this context, doesn't mean that the negative self-perceptions we hold are accurate or healthy. Instead, it helped me understand why I felt that way while also guiding me back to the truth.
One key realization I had during that time was that I often neglected my own basic needs, longing for complete healing and a sense of wholeness. However, I learned that this is a gradual process that requires patience. My journey began with prioritizing getting enough sleep. It's essential to establish a solid foundation before progressing to the next stage of personal growth. In addition to therapy, my community played a crucial role, and I owe my present well-being to them. It felt like divine timing when they entered my life, providing much-needed support during moments of overwhelm or self-doubt.
During the therapy period, I sought refuge in the one place where I felt secure: outdoors. Following my therapist's guidance, I made it a point to spend as much time outside as possible. Out there, I found solace from my anxiety and negative thoughts, allowing me to breathe, think clearly, and diminish the hold my problems had over me. While I may have spent an excessive amount of time outdoors, it proved to be a life-saving decision in numerous ways. It was in those moments of freedom and solitude that I connected with God the most and sensed myself regaining control over my life.
Finally, the most significant transformation in my life has been my relationship with God. For the majority of my adult life, I have been the one making all the decisions and taking action whenever necessary. In doing so, I believe I lost the sense of surrendering to Christ and letting Him have full control of my life. However, He has graciously listened to my prayers and has shown me the true meaning of surrender. I have witnessed firsthand how He has answered my prayers, and the past year and a half has been nothing short of miraculous. He has opened my eyes to areas where I need to seek Him more, preparing me for what is to come. Whenever I doubt, feel fearful, or try to rely solely on my own abilities, He reminds me that He is ultimately in control and knows the complete story. This reminds me of the song "God You Are" by Josh Baldwin and We Are Messengers.
"When I was young, You called my name.
I tried to run but still you came.
And you stepped into the dark
'Cause that's just the kind of God you are.
When heaven seems beyond my reach.
You still see eternity in me.
You're turning ashes into art.
'Cause that's jsut hte kind of God you are.
It's in the empty tomb
It's on the rugged cross
Your death defying love
Is written in Your scars
You'll never quit on me
You'll always hold my heart
'Cause that's the kind of God You are."
Seek Him and you will find true transformation, the only place and One that can provide it.
"He brings beauty out of the ashes." Isaiah 61:3
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